Posts Tagged ‘Gnomeregan’

Recently, I attempted to do what I like to call a “Thought-Beta” on the idea of a Caverns of Time: Gnomeregan. Toying with the concept was fun beyond measure, yet very difficult. A large part of a “Thought-Beta” on Gnomeregan is begging Blizzard to integrate more Gnome lore into our lovely World of Warcraft. The difficult part was in trying to find a means of showing that Gnomeregan would be important for some reason to the Time Dragons/Grand Scheme of Things.

I’ve recently decided that I can’t understand the Gnome’s role in our (I’m a dwarf, so sue me) war with the Horde. The Gnomes, having moved into my fair city and become a burden on mine king, contribute much to the war effort, yet without any really strong strategic reason.

Currently their city is in ruins, overrun with troggs and leper cousins. So it’s not a very strategic point of interest in the Horde’s war effort. On the other hand, my king has graciously laid out the welcome mat for the little mooches and if the dwarves lose to the Horde, then the gnomes would be out of luck.

There are thousands of gnomes in game (I mean, seriously, thousands! Who hasn’t been to Tinker Town’s Tavern and Tassle and watched a few lady gnomes shaking their bum?) all leaping at the chance to be part of the war effort. Gnome warlocks, mages, warriors and rogues FREAKING EVERYWHERE! It’s like a Gnome plague. Heck for the holidays there were even more of them! It would seem to me that all of those little engineers would do themselves well to get on over to the gates of Gnomeregan. If there’s thousands of Gnomes, all carrying weaponry of insane power, they should probably suit on up, grab their engineering weapons of doom, and retake their home. At this point, they are just leaching off of me king, and I fail to understand why.

And yeah, I do get it, there is Gnome lore in game. The whole Gnomeregan thing leads you to suppose that the Gnomes were created by the Titans. And then Mechnozod or whatever his name is (Kneel before Mechnozod?) tells you flat out that they are. But that’s it? Come on, that’s week. Even the dwarves are freakin’ everywhere in the lore.

And what’s up with that guy we helped out to figure out a leper cure? I don’t remember his name, he’s somewhere outside of Kharanos, me ole stompin’ grounds. He sends you into Gnomeregan about 4 different times to get leper juices and stuff off of troggs and the leper gnomes. If I recall he made you do this in the hopes of helping him find a cure. I’ll bet he found a way to turn the disease into an awesome drink…that’s used at raves…like at Tinker Town’s Tavern and Tassle…that ends with dwarves hung over and wearing netted stockings…

What was in that punch?

But I digress. Gnomes, they have their uses and need to be in the lore of WoW more. I know they’ve got a lot of plain ole Warcraft lore, but I want to see more in the way of actually effecting game play.
I love my gnome friends. I want them to get more out of this game.

Oh, I have an idea…let’s find out that Arthas was long ago defeated by some Gnome Warrior/Engineer, and he turned Arthas’ armor into a giant robot that he rides around in. Then we get all the way into IceCrown Citidel, kill the Lich King, and his chest whirrs and cranks and then pops open and an old battered Gnome crawls out yelling. “Don’t shoot! Don’t shoot!”

And then Dav shoots him.

Stupid Arthas.


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First off! Yay new blog look. Epic Dwarven Blogger’s taken a turn towards the different. Why, you might ask? That’s an easy one to answer.

Davlin is never happy with the look and thus its always under new direction. Tell me what you think. If y’all hate it, Davlin might change it. He also might just grab a pint and cuss you all out, take your chances.

Second on the agenda today is Dav’s absence from blogging for almost a week? (A week? Lemme check…nope…only 4 days…wow…seemed longer.) I’ve been kind of sick. “Kind of sick” equaling out to Dav can’t even sign onto WoW for much longer than maybe one Heroic a night! Oh the shame! But no worries my friends and fans, Davlin feels as though he’s on the mend, as this light hearted (yet could turn out ominously dark) post implies.

In other news, Yay Hunters loot! Got me some nice bracers last night that just ROCKED MY SOCKS! Seriously, my socks are still shaking. Yay Heroic Nexus. Sadly though, in a fit of Davlin doesn’t want to take it all (Need roll on bracers, greed and win on Frozen Orb) I passed on Sphere of Red Dragon’s Blood, because I thought the DPS guys I was running with could use it. Turns out they already had it or something better, and our wonderful healer Zaralin ended up with a useless trinket to sell off of a greed roll. Let that be a lesson to you, Davlin, being greedy’s ok when everyone you’re running with has run these Heroics a few more times than you.

Oh yeah! Naxxramus is coming up for my guild. For all you guildies of mine that read this, start doing your homework. First of all, you all need to start gearing up. Some of you are fresh 80’s, right out of the box, still smelling like the guy at the factory with the greasy hands and the cigarette who inspected the plastic wrap before you got shipped. You need to go out and you need to hit heroics, HARD! You also need to go out there (ie WoWwiki.com) and you need to read up on Naxx now now now!!!As stated in previous rantings, I don’t use Vent, even though our Guild does have a channel (thanks Zaralin), and I’m sure some other folks out there might not either, so save us some typing time and learn the fights. Yes, I will take the time to do a short refresher course before every attack, but that’s no excuse, I love you all, go read.

And finally, I’ve decided that I want to beg and plead, but since I’m lazy, I’m going to rant about what I want WoW to do in an upcoming patch and hope that by ranting about it, it’ll leap from my mind to some Blizzard Employee’s and become reality. What am I begging and pleading for?

I want a Cavern’s of Time: Gnomeregan.

You heard me right. Take the largest, most fun instance ever, and revive it.


Easiest way: Raise the level of the bosses and trash. Done. Davlin’s Happy. Jaffa Rejoices. Frejya does a little Spirit Dance. Bubba Pounds Chest in Elation.

Better way: We’ve already seen thousands of quests where you fight with or against a copy of yourself. In Old Kingdom there’s even a point against that final boss where you fight phased evil versions of your party. So here’s my plan. The same Gnomeregan map, all the baddies are the same, but the levels are bumped up so that they’re a challenge. In the little safe zone in Gnomer, instead, you find that the gnomes all holed up there were replaced by those evil blackish time dragons and they’re about to kill some hostages. Who? You and your teammates. That’s who. From the past. I’m currently unsure of if their levels should be different, but we’ll work that out in the beta testing. So the first half of the instance is a timed race to get to the hostages, and the fact that they are you is a surprise the time lord guys never told you. You get there and you have to fight a boss to free them. That’s your first boss. Then you’ve got 5 new members. Its a ten man raid! Woot! Now you and your counterparts have to make it through the rest of the instance, where every other boss is also some time dragon. The kicker? If your counterpart dies, you die. So yeah, you get extra heals with your healer’s double, and extra dps with your dps double, but if the double dies, you’re out of luck (Maybe for this reason the counterparts should be the same level as you in normal, but in heroic they are level 70’s). The final boss robot guy with the bombs can be different, sure, why not. And we’ll have it where he randomly takes a counterpart and offers them up for some sort of sacrifice thing like that chick in Utgarde Pinnacle. Oh yeah, that would rock.

Mostly I just want Gnomer to come back. I’d just be happy if they allowed us the option to make the current Gnomer heroic. No code rewrites, no huge patches. Just lemme go in there and have a challenge still. Jaffa hungers for lepers.

Ok, time to swallow my engineering pride (I’m too lazy to level the last 9 points) and send Nexultor the mats for the Nesingwary 4000. I’ve got me some Heroics to run.

Peace out!


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